LOVE; Why Do We Click?
– The 5 X-Factors to look out for!
By Lee Van Zyl
We all obsess about Love. Whether we’re in love or out of love or trying to get back with some-one. We obsess when looking for love and when we remember lost loves.
Love is something we all want and we all look for it. But we know Love is hard to find and those who do find Love, cherish it always and never ever forget it.
But what makes us connect with some-one so deeply? Why do we feel that instant “click” with some people and not with others?
In my own life, I feel I have had some pretty amazing connections with people. Some of which were deeply charismatic and romantic and others purely platonic. Each offered something so unique and special that I didn’t understand how I could feel so much – so quickly.
So, what creates that unique energy which allows this spark to happen so quickly.
I believe 5 factors are needed for us to sense that instant connection. And these
Click-Factors are Openness, Vicinity, being Tuned-In, Likeness and Adversity.
Openness is the first and immediate response, where you feel so comfortable and relaxed about opening-up about yourself. The other person senses very quickly that you trust them and are willing to be “seen” in a transparent and vulnerable way. Revealing yourself emotionally even just a little bit, relaxes the other person; increasing their confidence to share something about themselves too.
As you charm and flirt with one another, expressing your trust and emotional transparency, it has an amazing effect on the chemistry between you. It triggers the deeper emotions of excitement, curiosity and desire. Obviously, there is a big difference between being openly charming and revealing wildly inappropriate information – which is a big turn-off – so be mindful here!
During that first golden hour, your mutual sense of trust builds a beautiful bridge of energy, chemistry, willingness and visibility. This combination leads to the inevitable “Click” between you. In a just a few minutes you feel like you’ve known each other for years. And by the end of the evening, you could even tell one another your secrets. Talk about being in the fast-lane!
In normal circumstances, this bond would take weeks or months of dating each other. But when you just click with some-one, this process seems to be in the fast-lane and is hugely accelerated. This results in a quick-set mutual bond, which in some cases lasts a lifetime.
This x-factor is all about being in the same space or similar area. And is another vital link in creating the Click. Fate or Destiny may dictate that you are in that club or on a train that night, or you start a new job in that office. These days I come across quite a few questions regarding office romance. Some-one who they work in close quarters with and see every day. This inevitably leads to daily chit-chats and exchanges, closeness and confidentiality and eventually attraction and desire.
Or you could simply discover that you live in the same area. Realising that you have easy access to one another elevates the desire to pursue them.
This click-factor is a more delicate and it explains why we can maintain connections and friendships even at long-distance. It doesn’t matter how long the gaps are between chats, face-time, Skype or meeting up in person. It’s like no time has passed at all and you pick up where you left off.
In long-distance romantic relationships, the key to remaining in-tune requires a little more effort. In my experience the most important factor is accessibility. Being able to communicate with your loved one without restriction. No phones being switched off or periods of silence on the airwaves. Being completely visible and able to share with your lover your daily routine at work or at home. Things like how your work day went, where you have been socially, who with and what you did keeps you tuned-in and reinforces the sense of belonging and trust you have in each other. In other words, you have nothing to hide.
More often than not we are attracted to those who we can identify with. Those we have some-thing in common with. These similarities lead to a natural closeness between you and this closeness adds another level of depth. For instance, you may both love going for a walk or you are both Star Trek Fans or love Indian food. During the first golden hour, we generally use small talk to look for likeness and similarities that we can identify with. And by doing so we also eliminate those we do not resonate with.
It’s surprising to think that adversity can be a positive part of being able to click with some-one. But, think about it. Let’s say you are enjoying some small talk when you both discover that you were caught-up in a rail strike for example. You will both immediately know exactly how that felt (inconvenience and delay) the shared experience again accelerates your bond and empathy.
So, if you find yourself stuck in a long queue, waiting at an airport, sitting next to some-one on a train or a bus, or you simply bump into some-one at your local, try showing a little openness. You never know where it may lead.
Till next time
Lee VZ xxx
Lee Van Zyl makes regular live appearances on the Psychic Today TV shows. She also loves to read on relationship situations of all kind. In short, she loves to read on love! Get your own personalised reading with Lee. She is very accessible and always aims to give you honest, uplifting and positive readings.