{"id":4771,"date":"2021-02-03T18:00:40","date_gmt":"2021-02-03T18:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psychictoday.com\/blog\/?p=4771"},"modified":"2021-07-26T10:40:40","modified_gmt":"2021-07-26T09:40:40","slug":"rules-dating-heather","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psychictoday.com\/blog\/2021\/02\/03\/rules-dating-heather\/","title":{"rendered":"The Rules of Dating – with Heather"},"content":{"rendered":"

The\u00a0Rules of Dating\u00a0– with Heather\u00a0<\/strong><\/h1>\n

This topic<\/a> comes up so often and in many situations.\u00a0 Firstly, are there rules when it comes to dating?\u00a0 The short answer is \u2018Yes\u2019. So, more importantly, we should be asking, \u2018Why are there rules?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Finding love<\/a> should be easy right?\u00a0 The people around you seem to be able to find it easily enough.\u00a0 It seems like when you\u2019re single and looking for love that the world is full of happy couples completely head over heels in love.\u00a0 But for some reason all of the people you\u2019re dating never seem to pan out.<\/span><\/p>\n

You do start to question whether you\u2019re doing something wrong.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

True Love<\/h1>\n

Fear not; True Love always comes when you are least expecting it.\u00a0 Guaranteed when you start to love yourself and thrive at being you, when you are happy alone, being your best self and really not looking for a relationship \u2013 and other inspirational quotes as well \u2013 this is the time when true love will arrive.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the meantime, there is The Dating Game<\/strong>.\u00a0 Many years ago, a group of married women sat down and talked about the early stages of their relationships with their husbands.\u00a0 Following this conversation, two of the women decided to write a book called “The Rules<\/a><\/strong>“.\u00a0 In 1995, written by Ellen Fein<\/strong> and Sherrie Schneider<\/strong>, it is a self-help book to help them capture Mr Right’s heart.\u00a0 Upon its release, it proved controversial as some believed the advice to be outdated and taught women to play games with the men they were dating.\u00a0 But if you search the web today, you will find a huge market of dating and relationship \u2018experts\u2019 all willing to share their advice and insider secrets for how to get someone to fall in love with you.\u00a0 With many of these guru\u2019s taking to YouTube<\/strong> as a platform to share their insight.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sense of Self-worth<\/h1>\n

The Rules<\/strong> is somewhat of an iconic book, listing the rules that women must follow to bag herself a serious relationship.\u00a0 It became a must-read for single women everywhere, and I must confess that I read it myself just before I met my now-husband.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now it is not a mystical, magical book that contains the wisdom of the universe<\/a> and will allow you to command the elements to bring you a committed relationship with a fantastic person.\u00a0 But what I took away from reading the rules was a profound sense of self-worth.\u00a0 I understood my value as a person and that all of these guys I had dated previously, I really shouldn\u2019t have put so much value into those connections.\u00a0 I suddenly realised that I had wasted my time and energy on men that did not value it, appreciate it, see my value or respect me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The Rules of Dating<\/h1>\n

I realised that when dating, I would begin planning out our whole future lives together.\u00a0 And we might have only been out three times \u2013 and often I didn\u2019t feel any real connection or spark.\u00a0 I would get so focused on that vision of the future or the potential in that other person that I would ignore red flags, subtle cues that they were not that into me, forget to check my own feelings. I would do whatever I felt would keep that person interested in me and make that relationship move forward.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once I had access to dating rules, I set boundaries and be selective about whom I would\/should date.\u00a0 Instead of chasing after men when they didn\u2019t call or text, I would arrange to go out with friends, binge watch a box set, read a book, meditate, draw \u2013 anything.\u00a0 I shifted my focus from finding happiness via another person to finding happiness with myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Take Your Time<\/h1>\n

If someone is not interested in seeing you again, for whatever reason that might be, they are not going to call you or message you to explain.\u00a0 Don\u2019t take it personally.\u00a0 Check your own emotions; could you sit through another date with them?\u00a0 Were they just nice or were they \u2018WOW\u2019?\u00a0 Are you hung up on the potential relationship?\u00a0 Are you feeling defeated that another person has passed on the wonderful opportunity that you are?\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Chemistry takes moments.\u00a0 Getting to know someone takes time.\u00a0 Feeling like someone is \u2018the one\u2019 happens early in the connection.\u00a0 When they are feeling it too then, there is no need for gameplay.\u00a0 If you are questioning how they feel about you, they are not showing you how they feel.\u00a0 So it\u2019s time to move on before you get too invested.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Keep Your Emotions in Check<\/h1>\n

Becoming emotionally invested in a person who is not feeling it back isn’t very good.\u00a0 You spend time and energy trying to build a connection which ultimately is not going to progress.\u00a0 You are prolonging the ending.\u00a0 Following dating rules allows you to easily identify potential partners vs hookups so that you have the choice, you have the option, you have the power.\u00a0 People are not always honest about their feelings or about what they want in a connection.\u00a0 We find it difficult to be open about our wants and needs in a connection for fear of rejection.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s important not to get mad with the other person.\u00a0 You might be feeling frustrated and angry because they don\u2019t seem to acknowledge how much effort and energy you have put in.\u00a0 But it\u2019s not their fault that they are not feeling the same way you are.\u00a0 If you are calling, messaging, texting and making yourself available to them, but then you always seem to be waiting for them to contact you or offer you a date, maybe open up a little about themselves and their life \u2013 have a little think about whether you want to continue in this connection.\u00a0 They might not be seeing you as a potential long-term partner; to them, you could be an option.\u00a0 They know that you will chase them, so they don\u2019t call you or message you.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Dating Game Tips<\/h1>\n

Here are some things I have learnt about the dating game:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Keep Your Focus on You!<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Standing back from a connection gives you perspective.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. If someone isn\u2019t showing interest \u2013 they are not interested.<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Don\u2019t take rejection personally \u2013 this connection wasn\u2019t right for you.<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Don\u2019t play games \u2013 if someone starts playing games with you, walk away.<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. Be honest \u2013 be honest with yourself and be honest with the other person.<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Don\u2019t over analyse \u2013 if a connection hasn\u2019t worked out and they aren\u2019t calling you, accept it and move on.<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. Know your Worth \u2013 don\u2019t compromise your core to make a connection work.<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. Always be prepared to Walk Away \u2013 it follows from the previous lessons but deserves its\u2019 own bullet point.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Thank You for Reading!<\/strong><\/h1>\n

    I hope that you have found this useful.\u00a0 I wish Love and Light to all of you reading this.\u00a0 Stay safe, find Happiness in yourself and trust your gut instincts x<\/span><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Speak to Heather!<\/h1>\n

    Heather\u00a0is a\u00a0natural psychic who has a fantastically warm, caring and friendly nature. She makes regular appearances on Psychic Today. Heather\u00a0would love to give you a\u00a0love reading too! Contact her\u00a0right here<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n

    <\/h1>\n

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    The\u00a0Rules of Dating\u00a0– with Heather\u00a0 This topic comes up so often and in many situations.\u00a0 Firstly, are there rules when it comes to dating?\u00a0 The short answer is \u2018Yes\u2019. So, more importantly, we should be asking, \u2018Why are there rules?\u2019 Finding love should be easy right?\u00a0 The people around you seem to be able to…<\/p>\n

    READ MORE<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4886,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,50,10,68],"tags":[977,33,976,974,975,12,145,31,973],"class_list":["post-4771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","category-development","category-love","category-psychic-tv","tag-date","tag-dating","tag-dating-game","tag-dating-rules","tag-dating-tips","tag-love","tag-psychic-today","tag-relationships","tag-rules"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Rules of Dating | Heather | Trusted Psychic | Psychic Today<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The dating game! 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