When we seek guidance for our relationships, be it on a 1-to-1 basis or speak to a psychic over the phone, we can see that they are reaching out for guidance and for someone to relate and understand them in all areas of their lives.
Sometimes it is not easy to detect how this effects relationships, but what is most concerning is this person calling is not realising the effect they themselves are having on others and their own personal relationships also. We can blame our partners, we can blame friends, family or other circumstances but when it comes down to it, it is mainly ourselves who are to blame.
Let me explore an example, the names I have changed for privacy reasons.
I receive a call from a lady, we shall call her Brenda. Brenda is in her fifties, been married once before, divorced now for over ten years and has three children from her first marriage. Brenda tells me that she is currently struggling with her life. She feels like everyone is against her and feels like every time she goes for a job, they either tell her she does not have the right experience, do not give her feedback or just don't get in touch at all! She has also just recently lost her house. It's sad, because Brenda mentioned this has happened twice in her life. Brenda, in her own words, leads a comfortable, happy life but lost both houses and more over so many years.
Brenda cant quite believe she has got herself into this situation and still hopes for the day she can find a man who adores her and looks after her. During this process within those ten years, she feels her family (i.e. her children), are not really interested in her anymore. On some days, she feels they even don’t like her. Brenda tells me there is always an issue of some kind with everybody she meets.
She attends weddings with her family, but it ends in an argument. She goes to dinner parties, but someone has a fall out with her. These constant issues keep on coming into Brenda’s life and she wants to know why and when it is going to stop.
When looking at this more closely and listening in greater detail, I soon realise that we are looking at a self-fulfilling prophecy. We are also procrastinating. With those two together, all we do is just repeat the same scenario where we quite like to gain attention from others. This soon becomes something we desire.
Brenda needs constant reassurance from others as her emotions are hurting. What Brenda does not realise, however, is that she's pushing people away with her thoughts, her fears and her dependency.
Brenda thinks in her mind that everyone hates her, when asking her family, more so her children, they mention that they feel Brenda is draining them. They are getting angry at her for her constant demands of attention, portraying an emotional capacity of a child not behaving like an independent adult in her relationships.
Her two daughters just want to go out shopping and have lunch with Brenda without any problems, whereas when this happens Brenda ends up getting angry, causing an argument and asking them to leave. Such a scenario upsets the girls and leaves them not wanting to talk to Brenda with fear of the same happening again and again.
The problem is Brenda does not realise she is acting like this, nor does she see she is creating this for the sake of attention. In her mind she feels she is right, she feels everyone hates her, at the same time thinking “Why me?” or “Poor me!”.
If Brenda turned this around, she would realise that she needs to act in a manner where she is thinking of others and not just herself. When Brenda thinks everyone is selfish, is Brenda selfish? Is that the question here? Only thinking of herself and her own feelings?
Brenda has blamed someone for losing her house, her jobs and her marriage too. In that situation it is her ex-husband’s new wife. When talking to his new partner, who seems perfectly happy in her life, she mentions that Brenda causes the issues by blaming. But this lady’s question, is who is to blame? “We are happy”, she tells me. “Our family are happy and we have no issues”.
Brenda may have to come to terms with the fact that she has to let go of blame and build those new bridges herself. To eliminate the hurt and anger she has allowed to fester and start her new life herself, letting go of the past. When you become stuck in the past, sometimes to the point of obsession, the same drama and the same issues occur and your thoughts will keep on going around in toxic circles. It may not be nice to hear your ex-partner has moved on, but there may come a point where we have to come to terms with this and let go. You have a choice to accept that there is nothing you can do about the situation or to cling on to it in the hope they will come back.
The worry here is, when considering a new relationship, Brenda struggles to understand what the other person is going through and conversation will always revert back to her. So we have seen six men leave her in so many years.
Brenda needs to see that she would possibly need to address what she is angry about from years ago, perhaps in her past or in childhood. Did someone not give her what she wanted? Does she feel like she hasn’t had the life she deserved? It is NEVER too late to start the life she wants NOW.
With so many questions when you reach a certain stage in your life, i.e. adulthood, those dramas are best to be left in the past. We should really be focusing on less negative emotion and more happiness around our lives by learning that those ways of thinking are only giving us the same situations and issues and it’s time to let go. Of course we would get different attention when we were younger – our parents would be there for us, but as we reach adulthood, this is time to take responsibility for our own lives and to start acting in a way that moves us forward. It isn't always easy, and that is where a psychic reading can guide you on that difficult path.
This article was written by renowned psychic Joanna Scott, author of The Love Key. She is available for a private consultation at Psychic Today, the UK’s leading psychic service and longest-running Psychic TV show.
If you liked this, why not try her series of articles, Star Signs Uncovered and discover the secrets of your star sign!